Sympathy flowers: what each one means

Flowers have spoken for us for centuries when words fail. At a funeral, each one says something different.

The classics

• White lily: purity and peace. The quintessential funeral flower in many countries.
• White rose: respect and serene remembrance. The red rose is reserved for love: partners and the closest family.
• Chrysanthemum: across much of continental Europe it is the flower of the departed and of All Souls; in Britain and elsewhere it reads as a cheerful bloom. Context decides.
• Carnation: enduring affection; a long-standing favourite in wreaths.
• Orchid: “I will love you always.” Elegant, and increasingly common.

What to send, depending on your relationship

• Immediate family: a wreath or large arrangement, often with a ribbon and dedication.
• Friends and colleagues: a medium arrangement or an understated bouquet; many workplaces send a joint wreath.
• Acquaintances: a simple bouquet or, increasingly, a gesture on the online memorial.

The dedication

Short and from the heart: “Your friends always, who will never forget you”, “With all our love, the Harrison family”. A ribbon has no room for speeches; the book of condolence does.

When flowers can't get there

If you're far away, or the family has asked for “no flowers”, leaving virtual flowers on the memorial carries the same message — and it lasts: years from now, the family will still see who remembered. Some families also suggest a donation to a cherished cause “in lieu of flowers”: another beautiful way to bloom.